Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
