I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Randomize
