it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
