I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
