if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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