I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
one might say we're banned from that church
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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