when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
