which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
