I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Randomize
