i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
