Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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