I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
