i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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