Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
