Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
