I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
