wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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