you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
