I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
