He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Oh god it's open bar.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
