I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My liver just had a heart attack.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
