I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
