I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
