My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
