And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
