I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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