just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
