Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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