I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
