How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Please don't give away my fajitas
I think i got beer on your cat.
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