remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I love you. Go after that dick
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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