just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
