Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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