it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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