i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
