So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
