After last night, I could never be a politician.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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