He disabled his match.com account in front of me
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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