just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
