If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
