Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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