So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
