I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
