He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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