When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
she told me i tasted like america
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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