I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
