some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
