so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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