North Korea, Best Korea!
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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