dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Randomize
