they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
