i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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