He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
