is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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